Rainy Monday
by Clemenmore
Summary: Titled after the Shiny Toy Gun's song.WARNING: EMO KIGO. you may get abit pissy with the over usedness of this kind of kigo fic.  i liked it so i hope you do too. ENJOY THAT WHICH IS AGRIVATING. and it is a romance.
1. Prime Time of Your Life

VIEWERS BEWARE THERE IS EMO KIM/SHEGO ACTION

If you cant handle the yuri or the angst

Stfu and leave.

Please and thank you.

Kim Possible is not mine.

So yeah TOTALLY got distracted yesterday from doing a chapter for **Counter Act** . . .

And wrote this depressing thing.

ENJOY 3

Prime Time of Your Life/ The Brainwasher/ Rollin' & Scratchin'/ Alive – Daft Punk

"Ron I am running ahead after Shego! Stay safe!" I yelled as I ran out from under the rain and into the previously empty warehouse. I knew he and Rufus would be okay. They are always okay. Things always worked out in the end. It pays to be the good guy.

I was soaked strait through. All the lights dim. A trail of water leads around an aisle of miscellaneous containers.

'That woman never pays attention to details. She is way too impatient.'

Diligently, I followed this trail knowing it would eventually end at my destination.

I crept around a corner and spied the green and black asymmetrical cat suit. My heart, lungs, and brain froze function for a moment. I am not allowed the opportunity to look enough. I wasn't going to let this one pass or the next one either. So I observed.

She is beautiful.

Shego, that is.

The woman is leaning back against a shelf and looked prepared to maul the next person who caught her line of site. A puddle was formed around her. Her long dark hair looked drenched. Some of it clung to her face and neck. Her skin appeared moist; drops of water were rolling down her body musically. Her breath was ragged. The fast expanding of her chest drew my eyes for a moment but I was pulled back up to her eyes which darted about.

I yearned for those eyes to look back at me. To see those emeralds orbs look at me with the same amount of feeling as I continue to hide would petrify me. She could have me do anything if it meant that she would look at me like I look at her.

I am ashamed of my weakness. For awhile I ignored it and tried to tell myself it was just a crush and that I wouldn't be so easy. But I am. For her I am. For her I am anything. Now I am her enemy and rival. She hasn't told me to be anything other wise. The few times she asks me to join her in evil doing I know she really didn't want me too. I knew it would disappoint her.

'I need to move. She will eventually start looking for me.'

But I couldn't. I just looked on at her with a swelling heart and desire.

All I wanted to do right now was step into view. I would walk up to her. Kiss her in the most demanding way. I would have her know how I love her and how I lust for her.

"Where the hell is she?" I heard her speak softly. She is waiting for me to appear. The sultry tone is unmistakable. Her voice was music to my ears. I could pick her voice out in a crowd of yelling people.

She stepped away from the object she was leaning on. She took a few more steps closer to my hiding place; causing my pulse to jump start. I began to sweat.

My body always reacted badly to her. If she was to far away from me my body would try to get closer while my mind screamed like a fan girl. If she was to close my body would set off all kinds of alarms trying to get away. It didn't know what it would do to her if we got to close. All the while my brain is still screaming but not like a fan girl. More like bloody murder.

Then I saw a flash of green.

I reacted before I even had a moment to think. I rolled out into her view as the shelf I hid behind blew apart. I steeled my eyes.

"What are you doing sneaking around and hiding, Kimmie?" Shego drawled; amusement in her voice. I sent a hard smile her way.

"I don't know. I was trying to dry out." Obviously not the truth.

Shego, predictably ignited her hands in that eerie green fire that seduced me at times. She smirked at me.

"Well I couldn't have helped you with that one!" And so we began to dance.

I would have allowed myself to marvel at her grace if I wasn't going to loose some teeth or walk away with a crooked nose. So I fought back.

I dodge her claws and kneed her in the gut, wishing I could rub it. She knocked my feet from under me. She crawled above me and I caught her wrists as she swung at me with her fists. She had the upper hand. Damn gravity. Shego looked breath taking. Sadistic though in the lime light of her powers. The hairs on my hands were standing on end from the warmth those powers exude.

She always was so enthusiastic to fight me. I know from past experiences she didn't want to wreck me. Which was very sweet on her behalf, because in the beginning when she saw me as a nothing but a threat she would do whatever she needed to get me out of the picture. Unless it was too much work. Her lethargic tendencies were very conveninat. I know she has a soft spot for me. Yet I hope that instead of a soft spot it could be one big whole that I can crawl into, one day.

But I was never much of a star gazer anymore. And like the stars, Shego was abit of my reach.

I hate being such a closet romantic.

As we struggled with each other on the concrete floor I also battled with the desire to kiss her and or hug her. I spied down to her neck for the briefest moment. I felt dishearten by idea of giving her a hickey. I knew that would never happen.

I jerked my head to the right just in time to miss Shego's enflamed fist. It got lodged into the concrete. I would have laughed in triumph. But instead I pushed her away from me. I tumbled away from her.

"Shit!"

Shego easily loosened her hand from the ground and turned to glare at me. She is embarrassed but that was her fault. She lunged at me and I dodged. I heard her cry out as she hit the wall.

I just recently was able to fight the urge to run over to her and help her. I have a scar on my shoulder for surprising her doing that. She has to know I don't think she is weak. I just hate to see her in more pain then required. Or pain period. But Shego is a difficult stubborn person. She makes things difficult for herself when she struggles for independence in everything.

I watched as she breathed heavily and finally stood.

I almost moaned at the sight.

Her hair was a mess and her breath was ragged. We hadn't even had much of a struggle but she already seemed to be breaking a sweat. She looks so damn feral.

"What the fuck is that face for, Possible." Shego hissed. What face?

"What face?" I spoke out loud, confused.

"If you don't quit it, Kim, I am going to have to wipe it off myself and I honestly don't think you would enjoy that." She snapped. I said it before I could even think about it. I blame everything on her addressing me as 'Kim'. I almost melt every time she would say it.

"You never know, Shego, I might like it." That shut her up. And me too.

I can tell you that I am just kicking myself at the moment. I would have given anything for a distraction from the outside world to pop up.

Ron stumbling in on the scene, acting like a bumbling cute guy he is. Drakken calling to Shego that it was time to go. Global Justice busting into the warehouse. Maybe even the actual warehouse exploding. Anything to make this awkwardness subside.

And then the warehouse literally exploded.

I would have been baffled by my wish being granted if I hadn't just flown into some object that had more density than me. It rattled me pretty hard. I fell to the ground and the world spun around me. I felt like my ears had been cupped. I rolled over and wheezed the air out my lung. My whole body froze when I saw a ceiling column tumble downwards towards me. I was slow down a bit by the towering shelves.

I had no time to react my body was still taking in the last impact it made.

I cried out in white hot agony when it crashed onto me. I mostly wished I was already knocked out from it.

I felt like the pain was going to explode from every opening in my body. I was hurt bad. I am sure a few broken ribs and my shoulder and hip aren't probably to hot at the moment.

The pain was phenomenal. Thankful I was laying on the floor. I had more fresh air.

The room was thick with smoke and heat.

I was screaming at myself for not being able to get out from under it. I whimpered and moaned in pain trying to release myself. I tried to push it off but it was to heavy.

I eventually fainted or blacked out for the next thing I knew I was outside under the gray sky. The air was cool and the ground was a bit damp. My whole body hurt. More so around my torso but everything hurt. I felt dull warmth on my face. I eventually opened my eyes entirely. I released a hitch breath as the pain hit me. I wanted to vomit. I am sure I am going into shock.

Shego was looking down at me. Her hand was stroking my cheek. She saw that I was awake and pulled away quickly. She wasn't wearing her gloves.

"I see you're awake, Princess." Her voice was hoarse. Smoke from the explosion probably did that. I didn't really speak back. Shego looked like a mess. Her hair was matted, sticking together in various places. Her left shoulder was exposed from her suit. The suit was chard. Her face had black smudges on it. Her expression was a mix between concern and her trying to look self assured.

She looked over in another direction. I am assuming the blown up warehouse.

"I think your buddies got away safe but I also think that they caused the explosion."

Shego sighed and smiled down at me. That rare smile. I tried to sit up but the my whole body wailed asking for mercy. I felt tears come to my eyes. Shego pushed me gently back to the ground. All I could do was moan softly in pain.

"Don't move or anything. You dislocated your arm. I put in back into place. I am sure you broke a rib or two. You hip may be fractured also." She informed me. I tried to find a more comfortable position by rolling onto my other side. That never even happened though. Moving my shoulder a little made me whimper. Shego pressed my arm into the ground and applied pressure so I couldn't move it at all.

"I said don't move. Just stay calm." She said. Her face softened. Her cool hand returned to my face and began to deftly stroke it. My breathing became more steady as I struggles to keep my cool.

"Quit acting like I am going to strangle you or something. I am not going to kick you while you're down, Kim"

I felt nauseous at her words. Shego looked pretty distraught.

"Shego…I don't think that."

I love her so much. She doesn't even know. She doesn't even fucking know. It hurts me to stop myself from saying it too her. To not scream it to the world. Too her.

I want to say those three words to her all the time.

Every time she says something witty. Every time she laughs at something. Every time she smiles. Every time she drops everything she is doing just to come and duke it out with me. And times like this where she is compassionate and vulnerable. Allowing me to see her heroic side. I love this woman who has saved my life on more than one occasion. And I refuse to tell her because I am a fucking coward.

I don't deserve to love her.

I don't deserve her presence. If she knew how shallow and yellow bellied I am she wouldn't even bother to look at me.

Here come the tears. They were hot as they rolled down my cheek. I shook with misery. Her hand drew back almost immediately.

"Kim? Why are you crying?" Shego asked quickly. I am confusing her. I turned my face away from her to weep in the damp fresh scent grass.

It just isn't right for me to lie like this. It's eating me alive from the inside.

Her arms swept beneath me quickly, I cried out from the movement. Shego wrapped her arms around me. If I wasn't so blinded by my own tears I would have seen her shaking and holding back hers.

"Kim, what is wrong? Tell me now. This isn't like you." Her voice was chocked and rough. I hid my face on her shoulder; my one functioning arm wrapped around her back. She smelled like smoke and sweat.

I know she probably wouldn't hug me like this ever again. But I couldn't pass up this comfort. Her seeing me crying was compromising our already unstable respect for each other.

I shivered when her hand shyly ran through my mucked up hair.

"Shego… I am such a wimp." Is all I could muster. Shego released a sigh.

"Kim Possible, Miss I Can Do Anything? You're not a wimp if you're the same girl, Kimmie." Shego replied softly.

Her chin rest on my head. The comment made me pull away and look at her the best I could. I couldn't see all to well because tears were still pouring from my eyes. She reached over and tried to wipe some away but the gesture made me sob a little more. It almost felt like she was trying to pull me back into her arms.

"Shego. That's not what I mean." Which rewarded me with a bemused chuckled and then a worried a gaze.

"Than what do you mean?" she asked seriously. I feel confident again. I don't know why but I feel like I could really look her in the eye and say what's been on my mind and in my heart.

"Shego. . . I am terrified…" it was just going to be a bumpy confession. I wiped my eyes continuously trying to look less like a mess.

Shego looked deeply into my eyes. It felt like she was closer to my face than before.

"Well . . . I am terrified of . . . of of" my words trail away when movement caught my eye.

I see Ron and a few GJ agents from over Shego's should. They were at least 30 yards away. I see Ron gesture in our direction. They see us. Shego needed to run. I tried to swallow the pain searing through me and scoot away from her but Shego was already crawling after me.

"Ki,m what the hell are you doing? I told you not to move!" She growled as grabbed my waist.

"You need to go away Shego." That came out wrong. Shego let go immediately

"What?" was Shego quiet reply. I wiggled away from her and there was a meter from my feet to her.

"Shego you need to get away from me!" Again with the diarrhea of the mouth.

Shego was frozen there on her knees though. Her hand's reaching out to me as she sat bewildered. I felt myself die a little at the site. I would have gladly gone back to her, if I wasn't trying to save her ass.

A bullet hit the ground I put between me and Shego. That sent the message.

Shego rose to her feet and dodged another bullet.

Then something struck my thigh. I cried out. I held my hand over the epicenter of the pain. Blood poured from under my hand.

"Shit!"

This day was turning out horrible.

"Kim! They SHOT YOU?" Shego was back her side in an instant. I couldn't even see anymore. I breathed heavily through clenched teeth.

My eye ripped open to look hard at her. Shego looked absolutely disgusted and she glared at the nearing law enforcers. She was shaking hard and her fists were beginning to fire up.

"SHEGO!" I roared desperately. She returned to my side; hands extinguished. I reached over with my bloodied functioning hand and held her upper arm as tightly as I could.

"I need you to get out of here." I snarled through my teeth. She gripped my wrist and scowled down at me.

"Kim. I can't leave you with those idiots. You're fucking bleeding every where. I can't believe those bastards fucking shot you. I should be the one with a bullet in me, not you." Shego was starting to stand but I tugged her back down.

"Shego, don't fucking worry about me! Ron will take care of me. Just get out of here."

Shego looked conflicted. She stared down at me for what felt like forever.

If I wasn't frozen in place I would have reassured her with something; and nod or I'll be okay or something. The thief sighed heavily.

"Okay. I will go. If you fucking die, so help me, I will kill them all." Shego held my wrist tightly.

Then Ron was at my side. He ignored Shego and looked at the bullet wound and my slackened state. He lost all color. Shego let go when I wasn't looking at her. And then she was gone.

Ron grasped my hand trying to reassure me. A medical team surrounded me and shooed him away. His hands were so calloused.

They all circled around me asking me things about what had happened. The last thing I remember was a oxygen mask being held to my face and be lifted onto a flat board.

Then I fell asleep.

I feel a wee bit spastic posting this for some reason. Like I have the sudden urge to laugh… I must of hit my head or something.


	2. Rainy Monday

I hope you enjoyed the last chapter! More mix signals and misconceptions in this one :D!

I suppose I will eventually type another chapter or so by the end of this week but I don't see anything working in my fanfiction schedule….

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

I sat on my couch holding my face in my hands. I felt like ever one of my nerves had been stretched to the point of snapping. My composure was gone and I felt entirely too raw and vulnerable. I just can't avoid yesterday's events. Thing's got out of control way to fast. I just hate being victim to the Universes jokes.

The news about Kim Possible being put out of action was everywhere. The media even knew about was the damage report was.

I would have probably gone and found it myself, so this was good. What wasn't good was Kim's very weakened state.

My stomach and heart twist thinking about it.

Three broken ribs the rest were fractured. She broke her clavicle. Her left hip was bruised. The bullet wound was clean and thankful didn't hit any thing super vital aside from the muscles.

A shiver ran across me.

She was admitted to the hospital not to long after I had left her in the grass with her boyfriend or whatever he is now.

I have never hated Global Justice more. Betty best be firing someone and make sure they didn't get a job involving a gun.

The good guys aren't supposed to become damaged goods unless it is done by the bad guys.

My body was shaking with rage just thinking about it. I am honestly way too protective of the girl.

I can't stop worrying about her. I want to know if she is okay. I mean I know she is but I still worry. I don't think I will be able to get over yesterday. Pumpkin scared the hell out of me.

I had never for the life of me seen her in such pain. It was just wrong. The whole situation was wrong. I should have been the one peppered with a few bullets.

She was already hurt bad and then she gets shot by accident. Fucking idiots.

Felt myself tear up some from them memory of her crying out in pain in warehouse. When the place blew I was okay but I heard the roof cave in a bit and I heard her wale. I called out to her and then it stopped. I had feared the worst. When I found her underneath a rafter I think I actually threw the thing as far as I could. I scooped her up. She was so limp. I was already having a panic attack. I finally got out of the burning warehouse. The rain had thankfully stopped. There was a good amount of distance between us and that building. I didn't trust the place.

I set her down on the grass and put her left arm back in place. I called her name a few times trying to wake her up. I am sure she needed to rest but I needed to know she was okay.

If she died on my watch I don't think I would ever be right again. I have punched and kicked her for years and never have I wanted to hurt like this. I don't ever want to.

I need to go on fucking vacation.

But so once I had determined she wasn't going to be awake for sometime I indulged myself in looking at her. She was just as much of a mess as I was. But she still was as gorgeous and pure as ever. I took my gloves off then reached out to stroked her cheek. Her skin was soft and the texture, hypnotizing. I don't know how long I caressed her.

When she woke up I tried to not touch her to much. She was trying so hard not to show her pain to me.

My protective side was showing itself. She needed to be a still as possible if she wanted to be in the least amount of pain.

After some conversation she began to cry. Something else I don't think I will ever be able to forget on my own.

It was the most heart breaking sight. Kim is a proud girl and she was not in the state to hide her misery. She tried to turn away from me to hide it. She wouldn't tell me at first was wrong and me being the idiot that I am tried to console her and I just put her through more pain.

It scared me that she was crying to the point that I was about to gush myself.

It affects you a lot when you see someone you respect beyond understanding break down into tears. I was surprised I held it together for so long.

I think I almost kissed her. I was this close to locking lips with her and damning myself into oblivion.

She even tried to tell me what was wrong but she didn't finish. She wiggled out of my arms and tried to scoot away. She was putting herself though more pain to get away from me. When she told me to go away everything that is inside of me shriveled up. That hurt me more than I wish I did. And it kept hurting when she was trying to get away from me and continued to tell me to go, like I was diseased or something.

Then when Global Justice opened fired on us I got the picture.

When that bullet hit her, I saw red. I was going to kill a few people. At the time all I could understand was a great injustice had occurred and someone was going to get punished.

But she stopped me. I forced myself to look at her instead of her bleeding leg. She was trying to protect me by sending me away. When I saw her boyfriend appear I almost choked him. Why did she want him to take care of her? I saw how she looked at him affectionately. He was so white it was disgusting. He should be stronger for her. She doesn't need to act so tough when she is obviously down for the count. She needed someone to be strong for her once.

I could be strong for her.

I could be invincible for her.

So I left quickly, knowing I wasn't needed anymore. I am too jealous of him. I knew I shouldn't be but I am.

He had her and I didn't.

And it drove me absolutely mad to see those two standing near each other.

But she wasn't something I could just steal. She wasn't some pretty diamond. She was worth more than that. All I can do is admire her from afar and try to keep harm away from her.

I can look but I sure as hell can't touch. I won't allow myself too.

I don't want to scare her away from me or have her hate me. Though I wish we were more than just enemies, I am fine staying where we are. If that is what she wishes of me. I know she doesn't really see my feelings.

If ever she asked me to drop everything and be with her I would. I am already by her side she just doesn't see me.

I got up and walked to my restroom. I took a long shower. The first shower I had taken since yesterday. I came home and passed out then woke up to watch the news.

So I scrubbed myself till my skin was raw. I stepped out of the shower and dried my hair and body.

I settled into my bed and tried to sleep but I couldn't. It was way to early and I knew I wasn't going to get a good rest anyways.

I laid there for maybe an hour. My bed wasn't very comforting tonight. Then I finally decided I would go see Kim. Or at least check up on her.

I slid from my bed and slipped on my cat suit. I still enjoy its patterns. Thing never got old.

I searched a bowl next to my door for my car keys. I have too many vehicles.

I slid into my black and green firebird and started the engine with a roar. I lived out in the more rural parts of Middleton. More land to put things on. I quickly found myself in the the suburbs. I parked behind a near by gas station and traveled on foot the rest of the way. It was quite dark outside but I liked it. I felt more in my element in the dark. I saw Kim's house from all the way down the street. It was on a hill and looked over the rest of the street in a way. The moon was full.

I saw a car turn on the street so I hurried into the shadows between two houses.

The care pulled into the Possible house. It was Kim, her mother, and her father.

Damn she looked frail. Ms. Dr. Possible held the young red head up. It was pretty dark so I couldn't see very much but I new her arm was in a sling.

She was going to be out for weeks. No cheerleading, no sports, and no fighting.

I climbed the tree in the closet lawn to her house. Once at the highest most secure branch I tore my binoculars out. I watched her bedroom window for the lights to come on. When they flicked on finally I glued the binoculars to my face.

There she was.

Kim looked fucking bushed. Her mother was helped her into the room. They spoke to each other for a moment. Then Mrs. Dr. Possible began to slowly undress Kim. It must be agonizing for the girl. Probably humiliating, too. Having your mother undress you is something you usually don't take pride in. I know I would much rather undress myself then have my mother do it.

So I watched intently. Her back was bare to be and I swallowed my breath at the sight.

Kim had bruises on her back from hitting the wall and the ground yesterday. When she turned around to have her bra unstrapped I only glimpses her torso before looking away. I couldn't look any longer.

She had angry bruise all over her front. All in different colors and size. I could see one peeking out of her sweat pants too. Fractured hip.

I held onto the trunk for dear life. The world seemed to spin around me and I felt vertigo.

My breath was labored and difficult. I could feel tears coming. I didn't stop them.

So I stayed there on top of the tree and cried till I was out of tears.

I wanted to go in there and comfort her. Tell her that she looked fine and make her dinner or something.

An hour or so later I finally climbed down feeling a little bitter on my position in Kim Possible's life. I wasn't going to see her in person for at least two months.

I hate unrequited love.

The whole situation disgusted me.

I listened to all this while writing.

Just felt like mentioning it for some reason.

Steam Machine/Around the World/ Harder Better Faster Stronger – Daft Punk Alive 2007

BYOB - System of the Down

Kiseki – Nirgilis

Paparazzi- Lady Gaga

Masochist- Pendulum

8bit - Deadmau5

Sun Feet - Eisley

Rock With You - daft punk/ Michael Jackson (it's a remix)

Bad Romance – Lady Gaga

Rainy Monday- Shiny Toy Guns (this song is perfect for this entire fic)

Unicorn Song( I cant remember the name of the chick bannd who does it but its funny)

Solar Sailor- Tron Legacy Soundtrack

Dreamer- Ozzy Osborne

The Son of Flynn- Tron Legacy Soundtrack


	3. Istanbul not Constantinople

In the beginning all I did was sleep.

My body was in overload trying to fix me and let me tell you it got pretty tuckered out after awhile. What with all the bruising, the fractured or broken bones, the bullet wound in my thigh, I really couldn't blame my body.

I would just lie there in bed till I eventually conked out.

All the pain killers I was on helped with the sleep.

After about two week of tortured sleep and nightmares I just stopped taking them.

I didn't sleep until my body was pleading with me. The parents were not pleased that I was not taking my meds.

I felt miserably sore and hardly could move without hissing or moaning. But I eventually got use to it or I got better. Not sure which.

I have been quite a bitch as of late also.

I am not use to not working out.

Not dropping everything to save the world or go on a rescue was agonizing.

I guess being out of commission is quite possible for a Possible.

Logically, I knew that I shouldn't be do something as strenuous as back flip, but logic didn't stop me from being aggravated that I couldn't go to cheerleading practice.

Bonnie was loving the power trip.

Made sure to rub my face in it too. She always had a certain knack for kicking someone when they are down.

I feel like a caged bird. All my independence has been revoked.

Once I was allowed back to school my feelings got worse. I couldn't carry my books. I was paranoid about walking down the halls because of the chnce of getting pushed over.

I just don't like pain.

Ron is being a big help. But sometimes he just irked me.

It feels like everything has slightly changed. The world seemed a little more dense or heavy.

I actually broke down by the beginning of the second month. Everything was healing right but everyone felt so fucking sorry for me.

Am I that pitiful?

I cried till I fell asleep and then woke up and cried some more. I just felt singled out. Thank fully Father came to the rescue.

My dad came up and we talked for awhile. It was really actually me whining about poor me and how everyone just needs to let me be and you know. Angst.

He smiled at me than patted my leg.

He then began one of his long stories from when he was my age so many centuries ago. Essentially I was irritated that he was telling me some silly story of his. But for some odd reason I felt compelled to listen to him.

He told me about one summer he got grounded for flooding his parents' basement do to an explosion caused from a hair brained invention. He had been sent to Alaska to stay with a great uncle. He was wasnt allowed to invent or anything so he began to write a journal. He started it out as an idea book but it eventually turned into a personal diary of sorts.

Something to pass the time away.

He handed me a hard back note book suggesting I try it.

I nodded and took t. It was about a week before I decided to use it.

I was really pissed that Ron had went on a mission with out me.

I was use to him soloing it at this point but then he had informed me that it was robbery involving Shego.

I felt like I like had missed out on a the worlds greatest party. Just seeing the villain would have been nice.

Of course he doesn't really know that I have hidden feelings for the woman.

I am sure he would faint from the knowledge.

But still I blew up on the guy.

He looked like a puppy I decided to use for soccer practice and you know how I am about sports.

Practice makes perfect.

So he wasn't in the best of shape when he left.

I had been really bitch; totally on edge.

Blowing up on him made me feel terrible.

So after slapping myself I decided to try that journal.

I wrote everything down.

Everything.

If anyone found it I would be in some deep ass shit. But I didn't care I needed to get so much of my chest.

Doing nothing for more than two months puts things into perspective.

It was addictive. I spent so much time writing in it.

I wrote a lot about Shego.

My longing to just comb my fingers through that amazing black green hair of hers. It couldn't be anything other silk spun from bliss. I am sure of it.

Why I loved her.

Why I couldn't stand her.

I longed for her so badly. Her perfume is like memory to me. Sometimes I almost found myself smelling it when I lay half asleep for too long.

Sometimes I would just sit in my bed and stair at my bedroom door wishing she would just walk in.

Sometimes I would jot down some ideas for dates we would share or something I would like do with her; like dancing.

I also wrote about other things involving her.

A few dreams I had had.

Not in real detail but still.

I wrote a couple of poems. Yes I said poems. It was sort of entertaining writing short haikus or 6 word sentences about her. Some of the poems were long drabbles that I never finished.

I wrote about other things too.

Like the things I never noticed before.

Being still makes you see the smaller things and everything around you.

It use to be that I was in such a hurry to do everything I could at once as soon as possible. I didn't have the time to really grasp the world around me.

One day I finally got out of the house and limped to a near by park. It felt nice to be alone in the fresh cool autumn air.

I spent a good while watching leaves fall and the clouds roll by.

If I ever got the chance I would definitely take Shego there.

Over time I began to calm down. I still felt a little off put by immobility but as the weeks rolled by and the physical training began, doing a summersault didn't look so impossible anymore.

My mom and I began to talk more.

I told her about my feelings for Shego. She didn't react to bad. Actually told me she had a hunch that I was interested in a girl.

I feel closer to my parents. They have been very supportive of me even when I was being a total bitch.

Soon very soon I will be able to jumping jacks and back flips. My hearts already soaring thinking about what my first mission will be once I return to the hero business.

I bet it won't be too great.

Wade and Ron both told me that Dr. Director was over loaded with all the chaos the world is in do to me being out of commission.

Another odd thing I realized.

I had yet to be attacked by any off the villains I had sabotages or put away.

It's quite odd. I mean I thought the whole Villain community would have jumped me while I am in my vulnerable state.

They al know where I live.

It's not really a secret.

I wanted to think that maybe I was just lucky, but I am a paranoid person when it comes to predictable people. Especially when they aren't acting as predicted.

So I assumed either Global Justice has got my place under serious watch or someone is watching my back with out telling me. Possibly Wade.

The boys a sweetheart.

Sadly I haven't heard about Shego since I bit off Ron's ear over her. I assume everyone just decided to keep me out of the loop. I suppose it's for the best.

I am just to damn touchy about her.

Ever since the explosion my feelings for her kind of swelled even more. How can one possibly love someone more?

I don't know.

I felt empowered by how close I came to telling her. I am kind of glad I didn't tell her then. I was a total wreck. Next time will be different though.

Next time I see her I am going to tell her everything.


	4. Trolley Wood

I can't believe I am doing this. Where did this idea even come from anyways?

I am not the type to go by a bouquet of roses for anyone unless it's for me or I am going to get laid.

So why do I find myself in front of a flower shop? I got drunk the night before that's why.

I went to sleep with wanting to do something for Pumpkin, in mind.

So I woke up determined to see that red head. I hadn't seen her in three months.

She used to be like an every other three days things for me. I use to see her all the time. I knew I liked her a lot more than I would admit but who knew I would miss seeing her around so much.

I don't even know why I hadn't done this earlier. I should have caved and gone seen her a month ago.

Since Kim Possible, renowned world savior and cheerleader, was out of the game the villain community got a bit cocky. They thought since Red was gone no one could knock the battery off their shoulders.

Robbing banks, destroying private property, ridiculously making showy displays of their strengths. The list would go on.

Global Justice force was getting more and more "unrefined" as the weeks rolled on. The villain community was acting like a bunch of children on a sugar high.

I, myself, decided to lay low and keep an eye out for anything crazy or for any threats possible nearing a vulnerable hero.

The last crime spree I pulled was two months ago almost. I tried to do a rush job on a lab experimenting with electromagnetic pulse something, something, tesla death ray.

I wasn't to sure on the details. I only read enough of the file Drakken had given me to read to know how to take the thing without it killing me. Also if anything goes wrong I can fix the situation.

Drakken has learned to give me a heads up on experimental items ranging from science to occult. Kim Possible wasn't coming and I didn't want to stick around and humor her monkey boyfriend. He actually managed to catch me, much to my humiliation. He even gloated about it. The boy can't carry witty banter with others.

I eventually got away but I decided to go off villainy radar. Some of the guys online call it Vadar. It was a good laugh at the time.

Geeks.

Things have been boring and slow.

Every once in awhile I would swing by to check up on Drakken to make sure he wasn't getting swept up in the power trip. The pitiful man crumbled like a cookie when it came to peer pressure.

He would be fine; ask me to pick up something for him.

Once he realized I was on vacation till Global Justice chilled out he stopped asking. I went on my way.

No one seemed to want to attack Kim, which was fine in my opinion. I wouldn't have to show a particularly mean side of myself that always made me feel exhausted afterwards. Being angry takes a lot of energy.

I stayed in Middleton and shopped. I even found a few underground dance clubs about. I preoccupied my time with entertainment.

Though I kept a close eye on her, I hadn't gone back to see her since the night after she got hurt. Seeing her so bent out of shape like that caused me nightmares.

Most of which involved me hurting her unwillingly. Her being put in situations where I couldn't save her. Once in one of the dreams the last thing she said to me before I woke up was that she hated me. I woke up to find myself crying.

So I resorted to an old tactic when it comes to loosing sleep.

Vodka.

I drank a glass or two before bed. I had thought about visiting Kim a lot. I knew logically that she had to be better. Time heals all. So I passed out with the red head skipping behind my eyelids.

The dreams had morphed from horrific heart break to warm affectionate musing.

Some of the dreams involved me and her, whether it be M rated or sweet. Last night I had dreamt of visiting her. I had an arm full of flowers that I some how knew she liked. She was sitting on a bed. Not hers and not mine. Just a bed. I handed her the bouquet. She put it to the side of her and reached out for me. My heart leaped into into my throat. I wrapped my arms around her and embraced her. I happily weaped with her in my arms final. The dream allowed me to feel entirely complete. I knew it was dream but I wanted to lie to myself. I awoke wanting more than anything to hold Kim. That girl really knows how to play with my heartstrings without even knowing she can.

I, half sleepily, got dressed. Got in my car and then drove till I found a florist. The things I do in a sleepy haze would shock people. There was that one time in college when I built a beer pong table. (Of course liquid inspiration was involved but that doesn't count)

So here I am debating if I should get the flowers for Kim Possible or not.

Many thoughts jumbled in my head on the consequences of my action.

There goes $20 bucks. What flowers would she like? Which ones might she be allergic to? You know how bad it would be if I bought her flowers and she went into anaphylactic shock. I don't know how I would live with that on my conscience. Would she ven like flowers? Would she flip if she saw me there with a bouquet? Should I get her a get well card? Is it too late to get a get well card for her? . . . What if she tries to start a fight…?

"FUCK IT! I am getting her the damn flowers!"

Shoulders back, chest out, nose pointing up at a slight angle. I sauntered into the flower shop.

A woman was standing at the counter. She smiled at me. I surveyed the entire shop before I actually looked at her. She smiled at me.

"You." I pointed at her. My menacing tone caught her attention quickly.

"Get me a nice bouquet. Something you would give someone who is healing from an injury."

The woman looked like she was in thought for a moment. I could feel myself slowly loosing my patience. I clapped my hands together once. It was loud enough to jar her from her thoughts. She smiled shyly.

"Well we have-"

"Just grab one so I can go."

"Well but-"

"FLOWERS. NOW." I growled, my hands discharged a low glow. The woman gasped and scrambled quickly around the flower shop. She quickly made a beautiful bouquet.

She held out the bouquet. I sneered at the woman. She was sweating all over the place.

"How much?"

"Huh?"

"How much for the damn flowers?"

"Well I-"

"I don't have all day!" I did.

"Th-their on tha-tha house!" the woman stuttered. I looked over at her a smiled fakely. I reached over and cradle the bouquet in my arms. They smelled like a spring rain.

"Well that's so kind of you."

"It's. . It's no problem, Ma'am." Now that pissed me off. I glared her for a long minute.

"Now, I am going to hand you two hundred dollars out of the small kindness of my heart and pretend you didn't call me 'Ma'am'" I hissed. I handed her the two hundred smackers and left quickly. Fucking bitch.

I opened the passenger seat and placed the bouquet of flowers on in. One entering the vehicle I drove slowly toward my destination. The radio was annoying me so I turned off and drove in total silence.

I broke down how I was going do this.

Plan A was the obvious bold plan. Go right up to the door. Knock. Hope that Kim answers the door instead of anyone else in her family. Likely deal with a very awkward situation. Shove the flowers into Kim's arms. Than split like a banana.

I again drove to the gas station and left my vehicle there. I walked to the Possibles. I felt like I was walking on egg shells. Longest walk I have ever taken. I was afraid someone was going to seem and pull over and talk to me or call the cops. I prayed that none of the Possible's would drive down the street. I felt very weird walking down the street in broad day light with a bundle of flowers in my arms.

If I was in a car and saw someone carrying a bouquet down the street I would shoot some curious looks. Now if they were green and just so happened to be an extremely infamous thief. Well, I would double take than go about investigating. Maybe.

I stopped infront of the house looking at the Kim's. Kim's car was sitting out on the street but there were no other vehicles. She must be home alone.

Perfect.

I crossed the street with a smidge of confidence. Once I was standing in the Possible lawn I replayed the plan in my head. Knock on the door.

So I climbed 2 stories with one hand. Its quite easy when you have years of stealing things. I slipped into the first open window I found.

I found myself in Kim's mother's office. How I knew? Medical books every where and the life size model of a brain on her desk. So I slunk on out of there.

The house was dark, not a single light on. No movement. I was very familiar with the layout. I stayed here for awhile and have broken in for more than one occasion.

Making a bee line for Kim's room I determined that the house was completely empty.

Poo.

Kim's room was so girly it hurt. I looked around the room for a moment to find a place to put the flowers. I decided the bed was the most ideal place. You really couldn't miss the giant bouquet when its in the middle of your bed, right?

I placed it across one of the pillows on her bed. I felt so comfortable in the place. Her smell coated everything, especially her bed.

I lay across her bed and buried my face in the pillow I know she uses. She smelled like sunshine on an autumn breeze. My senses drowned in her. Her bed was comfortable, I would give anything to just fall asleep here. After about thirty minutes I decided maybe I should leave a small note and just go.

But then something caught my eye from the side of her bed. I reached over between the bed and the bedside table to pull out a hardback notebook. It was black and the texture had me running my fingers across it repeatedly.

"Now what could this be?"

Well.  
I am back with more. Sorry I have been out of commission as of late. A close friend of mine passed away and I have been spending mostly all my free time with my friend who was his best. Good guy. Imma dedicate a fanfic to him (lame but idc)

A-fuckin- Kon 22 is going to be the shit this year. Felt like telling you I am screaming my brains out for this convention. Right now.

Music I listened to for this fic:

For half of this fic all I listened to was trance.

A song by aquatimez I didn't feel like know it was aquatimez and it is good.

Trolley Wood- Eisley

Needles- System of a Down (one of my favorites)

Touch It/Technologic- Daft Punk Alive 2007

Dance in the Dark – Lady Gaga

Fuck You- Lily Allen

Tight – MSI (my theme song ;D)

New in Town – Little Boots

The Siren-Nightwish

Hypnotized- System of a Down

Vintage People- Eisley

Starstruck- Lady Gaga

Death (Crystal Castle Mix)- White Lies

Maps- The Yeah Yeah Yeah's


	5. I need You

What a long sweltering day.

Walking home was not the smartest choice of mine.

I watched my feet as I walked down the side walk. I am sure I look quite sullen. I keep replaying the events of today in my mind.

So what happened to make this day seem like an eternity of boredom?

Two pop quizzes in only one class. I couldn't really think much after that. We had a senior assembly about graduation suggesting we not doing anything stupid to finish of the year in the bang. I also had a meeting with my school councilor about scholarships. That woman is scary.

And finally -FINALLY- got to go to cheer practice and actually participate. It felt great running a routine with the girls. Simple routine but I didn't need to push myself to go to my usual extreme. Bonnie of course mocked me for my lack of talent. I lost my balance at one point and fell. She was among the girls who caught me but she wasn't happy about it. She broke a nail. In a weird wasy she told me to get better so she didn't have to carry the weight of the team. I interpreted it as her actually being kind and wishing me better. Who knows? Maybe she actually missed having me around the push all the girls to the point of insanity with routines.

Ron had showed up after class to walk me home. My car had faulty breaks at the moment and the twins were looking into setting the Sloth up for another extreme upgrade.

I had told Ron that I wanted to walk home alone. I know the guy has been my second shadow for most of my life but I seriously needed some personal space. He acts like I am so fragile. Does he honestly think that a breeze would knock me over? Well for awhile… it could but not anymore! I am making my comeback into the world. I am a Possible and you know what we, Possibles, always say. I just wanted to some time to myself atleast.

If there is one thing I can't stand is sweating for no reason. I only mind sweat if I worked for it.

It was hot and muggy.

The heavens cried hallelujah when I observed my house from down the street. I definitely picked up my pace with renewed energy.

The moment I enter the house I was assault by the cool air presented by our air conditioner.

There seemed to be no one home which was excellent. No parents to nag at me for walking home and no tweeb's to harass me. A tall glass of water sounded lovely at the moment. I stood in the kitchen drinking my glass of water. Looking out of the large window that over looked the back yard I sighed. It looked wonderful outside.

Maybe I will go sit outside and catch a tan.

I hurried upstairs to retrieve my bikini. I flipped into my room with added excitement.

"Well I see that you are getting back to cheerleading, Princess." The voice stunned me on the spot. Shego?

I realized that her perfume was hanging in my room. I looked over at my bed.

My pulse jump started into over drive at what I saw.

Shego was lying in my bed with her legs crossed. She was wearing tight black jeans and black heels. Black toenail polish. Her top was a lime green form fitting sleeveless blouse that exposed a healthy amount of cleavage for the eye to see. A large bouquet of flowers was placed at her side. And in her hands was-

MY PERSONAL JOURNAL (diary)

"What are you doing here, Shego?" I growled squawked. It came out ridiculously than I originally intended but oh well. Shego looked up from a page she had been skimming.

"Oh nothing much, just thought I would drop by to say hello. It's been so boring without you to kick around. Cute diary by the way. A little emo but adorable none the less, Pumpkin." Shego quickly winded at me. I blushed heavily as she smirked knowingly at me.

I couldn't hold back a growl that emitted from me. I spun around and plopped onto the bed and crossed my arms. Of course the one time I am not begging the higher being above to see Shego, she appears and reads my personal diary. There goes any heart felt confession I would have smoothly told her. I could here her snickering behind me. My blood was converting itself into steam at this point.

"That's just fucking wonderful, Shego. Laugh it up." I snarled.

"Oh come on Kimmie, I am only playing." Her voice was amused. Well hate to break it to her that I don't really enjoy jokes at my personal expense. Shego sure as hell couldn't.

I could feel Shego shifting on the bed and then I heard rustling plastic. Shego got up and walked across the room and placed the nice bouquet on my desk. Though I was mostly glaring at her back, I noticed her stroking the petals on one of the various flowers.

"I bought these for you…" the thief spoke quietly. I turned from her and began to take of my shoes. I heard nervously laughter.

"Scarred the living piss out of the florist. She tried to give them to me for free so I would leave quicker or something." She propably just shot me some winning smirk that could send goosebumps all over. Luckily I refused to look at her.

"Fancy that." I snapped as I stepped into my walk in closet. Why did she have to be here? She read my journal so she should know. Why won't she just mock me and leave. As much as I love that gorgeous woman, I don't want her to see me this humiliated. It just wasn't fair. I feel a little cheated by the universe.

I undress and slip into sleep wear. I don't think I am going to go sun tanning anymore.

Shego was standing right outside the closet; I could feel her eyes on me. How long she had been standing there I don't know. Being seen half naked was the least of my worries.

My one worry at the moment was actually getting past her. I could feel a brawl coming in the near future. My whole body was agitated. Shegos perfume was intoxicating my senses. Her close proximity was making me loose my focus.

"Shego, will you please move."

"Not till you look at me, sweetie." The butterflies in my stomach fluttered at the term. But I remembered that I was pissed about the invasion of privacy.

"Shego, I am not really in the mood for this right now."

"Really? And I thought you would be so happy to see me since that's all you wrote about in that kiddy diary of yours. How you missed me, how much you love me, all that mushy stuff. Or maybe you're just some other hormonal teen crushing confusing lust with love…" Shego hissed. Low fucking blow.

I glared right back up at her.

"You don't know what you're fucking talking about. I recommend you leave before I make you leave." I spoke through clenched teeth. I want to hit her so bad right now. Then she scoffed.

"I have a pretty good idea on what I am talking about it. Being older and more experienced tends to have those bonuses. Now quit acting like a brat, I am not leaving." Shego puffed her chest out for added effect. She is absolutely infuriating.

Right as I was about to swing at her, Shego grabbed both of my arms holding me against her strongly. So I natural struggled against.

"Would you. . Grr. Just- STOP!" Shego yelled into my ear causing me to wince.

"Let go of me." I mumbled into her shoulder. I just wanted to lay my head on her shoulder and take a deep breath of Shego. She was so warm.

"No. I want you to hear me out."

"I don't feel like getting mocked right now, Shego. Can't you save it for next time?"I whimpered sadly resting my head in the crook of her neck. Her growl vibrated along her body. She pulled me back forcefully.

"Kim. Honest I am not going to make fun of you!" She cried desperately. The look in her paralyzed me.

"Look can we sit down, please?" I nodded mechanically. Shego doesn't often say please.

We both sat down on the bed. Shego held my shoulder but I wasn't going anywhere.

"I didn't really mean to read your diary. Kim. I just kind of happened. I mean I am a thief! I get really curious very easily. It was strictly impulse."  
"Yeah but still, you could have stopped…" I mumbled. Shego looked at me plainly.

"If you saw your name in my diary by chance, you would have kept reading just to see what I said about you. Simple as that." I nodded. She was right, after all. Shego's hand had moved from my shoulder to me back. When did that happen?

"Really Kim don't worry about it. I feel kind of bad now for not actually visiting you after so long…" She sighed and bumped her shoulder into mine.

When did Shego scoot that close?

"The flowers . . . are nice…" I mumbled. She looked over at me and smiled gently. It stole my breath for a moment.

"Yeah?"

"… yeah." Was my feeble reply.

This was totally off. Her arm is wrapped around my waist now. Her face was hovering dangerously close to mine. Shouldn't she be mocking me? Disgusted by my attraction? Threatening my reputation world wide? I looked down at my hands nervously. Maybe it was time to make that confession. She already knows of course but something better said then written.

"Shego . . .I love you…" I looked up into glittering emerald eyes. I had never felt so focused on in my life. I held my breath as Shego leaned forward.

When her lips made contact with mine, I sighed. It was probably the sweetest kiss I had ever shared with anyone. Shego held my face so delicately. This is a moment that made would make any girl cry. How cliché.

Once shego and I parted a short distance she laughed at my misty eyes. I punched her in the arm. She was no better than me. She was crying too.

"I love you, Kim."

FINETTE

So I kind of made this a bit sappy. But I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK

I enjoyed writing this fic. Fairly simple though. But I liked that too. I am a complicated girl who loves simple strait forward things or people. *shrug*

I didn't listen to any music really. But I had a song stuck in my head.

I need you by 4 Strings… very catchy.

\I had this sitting around on my computer. A really bad cell of storms kind of just ravaged my part of America and I had been pretty worried about my best pal because he got caught out in it. So I wrote this and read some Bellatrix/Hermione fanfics. I know I am just so talented with multitasking.

Well I hoped you all enjoyed the read.

Please review or send me a private message.

I adore you, my lovely readers 3


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